The pros and cons of sports

By Travis Brown
STAR Staff
tbrown@starhq.com

   As with most sports, spectators have a select set of rants about individual sporting events.
   My employment here at the STAR is winding down, and I want to take this opportunity to sum up the "problems" of each sport.
   Bear in mind this examination is intended to be both humorous and serious in nature. Here goes nothing.
   Basketball
   Roundball has been a staple of the American media since the red/white/and blue days of the ABA, but it still has too many subplots to be a worthwhile viewing experience. I love to watch prep and college basketball, but I cannot stand to watch the NBA.
   Pros: Shaq is fun to watch, and Yao is really tall.
   Cons: Shaq is too dominant and Yao can't do interviews without an interpreter.
   Baseball/Softball
   I love baseball and I have since I was 5. However the game is simply to boring to watch. Playing ball is one thing, watching it is altogether different. Prep baseball isn't to bad, Little League is great, but college ball doesn't exist (At least not publicly).
   Pros: The World Series is great, the game has plenty of strategy.
   Cons: Game speed analogous to a snail race. Tickets = to much $$$.
   Football
   Of the three major sports, I must say I like football the most. It has plenty of impact and a great pace. The small pauses allow appropriate commentary and insight while keeping the clock rolling. Football is built for T.V. and is easy to watch, but the big-name players are simply larger than life. In my view, that's not always good as too many NFL superstars have "less-than-desirable" character.
   Pros: Great action, and competitive nature.
   Cons: Negative attitude towards kickers and unfair pay (towards kickers)
   Hockey
   The great mystery sport will now come to light. I love hockey, which puts me in the minority of most sportswriters. I think hockey offers the best balance between basketball/soccer/and football of any sport on earth.
   Its rules (though most don't understand them) are fair and simple. (When somebody screws up in hockey they get benched, just think how great it would be if Randy Moss got benched for doing something wrong.)
   The only thing that stinks about hockey is that we continue to steal it from Canada. What did Canada ever do to us... aside from talking funny they are generally nice people.
   Pros: Speed, skill, and precision unmatched in any sport
   Cons: Unfit for T.V. Must see in person to truly appreciate
   Soccer
   The sport of the world is slowly catching in the U.S.A. but it is taking time. I like to watch soccer although I don't know much about the strategy involved. I bet if I knew more about the fundamentals of the game I would really love to watch the games.
   Pros: Stamina Stamina Stamina... they run forever.
   Cons: Scoreless ties... what exactly is that
   Billiards/Bowling
   I put these together because I love to play both of them. Now I just have to retire from my job so I can have enough time to play them.
   Pros: Skillful and very enjoyable to play with a group of friends
   Cons: Pool tables are expensive and nobody respects the rules of bowling etiquette.
   Golf
   I put golf last because its the least sporty of the group. However it is the most difficult and skillful.
   It may not take a superior specimen to play golf, but it takes an extremely patient and confident individual. To be an average baseball player is not to difficult, but to shoot par... that's hard.
   Pros: Beautiful scenery, and peaceful evenings
   Cons: Drunk people who play slow, and an incredible urge to often curse.
   So that about sums it up. If I left out your favorite sport like say tennis or skiing then forgive me. I play those too but I have to limit the story to those most relevant.
   Get out an enjoy the summer, just because it isn't football or basketball season does not mean sports dies off. It just requires us to be more creative to find a hobby.
   Creativity that's safe, not to include rock climbing (without a rope) cliff jumping, or drag racing (unless its at Bristol)
   (NASCAR was left out of this article due to my strong love for rally racing. I would not want to upset NASCAR fans, I enjoy some races, but I cannot stand to watch cars drive in circles. It's like driving around the monument in front of the courthouse... 500 times!)